that’s whacked

i am… LACTOSE MAN!

Tuesday, Aug 31. 2004  –  Category: Quotage

a snippet of an IM conversation i had with tammy today:

(15:56:27) tammy: did i mentin he has an archnemesis? (15:56:57) steve: what, you don't? all the cool people have archnemesises (how the hell do you pluralise that??) these days (15:57:19) steve: my archnemesis is a Dairy. (15:57:21) steve: (15:57:26) steve: erk. is Dairy (15:57:30) steve: not a Dairy (15:57:31) steve: (15:57:33) tammy: i guess that's mine too? (15:57:35) tammy: well, no (15:57:38) tammy: i don't fight it (15:57:43) tammy: i try to work with it (15:57:46) tammy: and compromise (15:57:53) steve: i don't really try. (15:57:56) steve: i confront it head on (15:57:59) steve: like any true super hero would (15:58:03) steve: clearly i am a super hero (15:58:08) steve: for eating ice cream and cheese (15:58:17) tammy: cause you KNOW dairy is evil (15:58:22) steve: damn straight (15:58:32) steve: just doing my part to help.... the ... little.. people. yeah (15:58:45) tammy: the billion people in china who are lactose intolerant (15:58:50) steve: yeah (15:58:50) tammy: you are a pioneer and role model! (15:58:54) steve: indeed i am (15:58:57) steve: kids should look up to me damnit (15:59:06) steve: i'm going to start smiling benevolently at people in the hallways now (15:59:49) tammy: so that they wil lknow that you are akin to a god? (15:59:56) steve: yup (16:00:04) steve: well, not a god... (16:00:07) steve: just a super hero (16:00:10) steve: i'm just like everybody else (16:00:12) steve: except better (16:00:13) tammy: like superman (16:00:20) tammy: maybe you should start wearing spandex (16:00:25) tammy: that's usually a good differentiating factor (16:00:32) steve: hmmm....intriguing idea... (16:01:14) steve: this is an absurd conversation (16:01:17) steve: i'm going to post it in my blog (16:01:23) tammy: hahahaha! (16:01:39) tammy: don't forget the utility belt!

ahhh…nothing like stroking the ego to build self-confidence. if anyone at work sees me walking down the hallways in spandex smiling benevolently at people left and right, feel free to stop me for an autograph or something.

weight savings

Monday, Jul 12. 2004  –  Category: Quotage

funny quote from a /. article today on modern tech in biking:

Q: What’s the cheapest way to shave 500g off your bike weight?

A: Lose 500g.

(not) 24 Hour Fitness

Thursday, Jun 17. 2004  –  Category: Quotage

i heard a radio commercial this morning for 24 Hour Fitness, describing all the possible workouts, benefits, etc. etc.

then at the very end, in their legal disclaimer part of the commercial they quickly mention “not all locations open 24 hours”

wtf? now, maybe it’s just me, but it seems to me that a place called “24 Hour Fitness” should be open….well, for 24 hours a day. call me crazy….

maybe i’ll open a store called “Steve’s Computers” and sell fruitcakes or something….

godly spam

Thursday, Jun 10. 2004  –  Category: Quotage

i just got spammed by God.

From: "Ray Park" PZDLHWSVU@kih.net Subject: Try God Date: Fri, 11 Jun 2004 03:09:47 +0600

God and saten are both real, the world needs to know this.

Don't make the mistake of not accepting God.

Its too late if end up in hell.

Contact a local church or prayerline today.

He is real do not be in Hell by the time you realize it.

God is alive

oh well. at least he didn’t try to sell me viagra.

my computer is gonna pull a columbine

Friday, Jan 30. 2004  –  Category: Quotage

i just logged into one of my test machines which is running a test suite, and did a ‘ps’ (process listing for those of you non-Unix users). the output was:

svvs 110702 107230   0 10:38:23 pts/3       0:00 kill
svvs 107230 101634   0 10:18:13 pts/3       0:00 /test/svvs/bin/verify BA/DEV BA/ENV BA/LIB BA/OS KE/ENV KE/OS
svvs 110703 110702   0 10:38:23 ?           0:00 kill

stevel 110732 110715 0 10:40:35 pts/1 0:00 ps -ef stevel 110715 110713 0 10:40:31 pts/1 0:00 -bash svvs 110709 110703 13 10:40:07 ? 0:07 kill1 svvs 110710 110709 61 10:40:07 ? 0:20 killme0

hrm. ‘kill’, ‘kill’, ‘kill1′, ‘bash’, and then ‘killme0′

…. be afraid, be very afraid.

…. you’re next

Wednesday, Jan 7. 2004  –  Category: Quotage

saw this quote today that i found hilarious: “I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.”

fugly toes

Wednesday, Oct 29. 2003  –  Category: Musings, Quotage

I made it back to the Bay Area today…. it was nice being able to spend the extra days in LA with Wendy, but it got kind of scary there…. I was running out of clean boxers.

I sat next to a guy on my flight home this morning wearing sandals which enabled me to see his fugly toes. I had the following conversation with Erik when I got into the office: (11:23:58) steve: on a totally random note, i saw someone with uglier toes than you (11:24:05) erik: are you serious??? (11:24:08) erik: you haven't seen my toes in awhile (11:24:18) steve: hrm. this is true... have they gotten worse? (11:24:22) erik: i dunno (11:24:23) steve: cause this guy had some pretty fugly toes (11:24:28) erik: but it's hard to imagine uglier toes (11:24:40) erik: besides it's one of the few things in life i can cling on to (11:24:46) steve: his longest toe was almost as long as my pinky (11:24:55) erik: my longest toe is as long as my pinky! (11:24:57) erik: haha (11:24:59) steve: damn

batteries included for my battery?

Friday, Oct 17. 2003  –  Category: Quotage

shopping around for a battery for my granddad’s Minolta Dimage Xt camera, i found the above mentioned battery at Amazon.

the funny part is on the product page it says: Batteries: 4 AA batteries required. (included)

my battery requires 4 AA batteries? whaaaaaaaaaa?

bumper sticker

Tuesday, Oct 7. 2003  –  Category: Quotage

i saw a funny bumper sticker the other day….a parody of Reinhold Niebuhr’s famous quote.

it said: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the weaponry to make a difference.”

at the speed of light…

Monday, Sep 22. 2003  –  Category: Quotage

i added a login link to the grommit sidebar to let blog authors login (without having to remember the MovableType login URL), and not 2 seconds after i hit save on the HTML file, i get an IM from erik saying: (15:24:23) erik: hey - are you gonna keep that link to the movable type login page? (15:24:25) erik: it's handy