that’s whacked

danger. you are stupid. you have been warned.

Saturday, Jan 28. 2006  –  Category: Musings

we English-speaking people often like to make fun of foreign (usually Asian) countries’ poor grammar or poor choice of words. so it was heartening to see a good ‘ol fashioned perfectly worded English label:

WARNING: EXPLOSIVE. DO NOT HOLD IN HANDS

i mean, it can’t get any more clear than that right?

but… but… the firecracker vendor said hold it in my hands and light it.

sigh. it was such a dilemma. was this a nice sparkler that i could hold in my hands and twirl like a kid with a lollipop? or was it going to be a rocket that would blow my hand off.

i mean, should i take heed of the ALL-CAPITAL LETTER warning, which someone had clearly gone to good effort to word in such a way that it could not be misinterpreted in any way whatsoever? or should i follow the advice of a 14 or 15 year old kid who sold it to me, tossed me a lighter, pointed vaguely at the booth next door and said “safe”, and then disinterestedly turned back to his drink (apparently he meant i should go to the beach BEHIND the booth, where it would be safe to light said firework).

of course i lit it.

the trepidation was only slightly alleviated by the thought that i had death and dismemberment insurance. of course it was slightly tempered by the thought that surely they wouldn’t award me dismemberment insurance if i lost it lighting a firecracker whilst holding it in my hand.